RACE REPORT: Nantou County 22 Jan 2011

I just couldn't sleep.

I tossed and turned all night and just couldn't slip away into blissful slumber. I don't think there was any real reason other than I kept thinking about my 4am alarm.

I think I finally dozed for about 90 minutes when my iphone iwoke me up. I dressed, downed a lovely cup of coffee, stuffed some bread and fruit down my gullet and headed down to meet the guys.

We met at my house so it was easy for me this time. We packed up the team car, headed off for one more coffee and then drove 2 hours to the start.

It was a bit crisp during the 5km neutral but once we got going things cranked up to 60kph and I warmed up pretty quickly.

It was basically an out and back course that then turned onto a 5km climb to the finish. Not exactly the best for me. The plan was to get Gavin into a move after the turn around and if that got caught then Shou Ciao would nail it on the finish climb.

My job was to keep things together and lead Gavin out when it was time. This meant I needed to be active at the front. Early on there was a rider away who was just up the road but slowly rolling away. He had team mates massed at the front so I decided not to let them set up their rabbit.

I rolled to the front and picked up the pace with the idea of bringing this guy back. As I got pretty close to him I glanced back and realized that I was alone - they'd let me go off the front. This was the same team I was in a long break with in November. Maybe they thought it would help out their whole rabbit thing.

I closed on the rider and we rode together for a few more km when the bunch decided that it was time to end this silliness. Thank GOD. I had no desire to be there in the first place.

Lots of attacks and chases and I had to go to the front several times to bring the pace back up when it came time to get Gavin off the front. I was at the front pushing the pace when I glanced back and saw Gavin on my wheel. I figured he was ready to go. I notched it up and we strung out the group and pulled away. Then we jumped.

We got a gap and a decent rider from a team with numbers was with us. Gavin went around me and he went with him. I drifted back to the bunch to set up shop minding the bunch. When I got there 2 of my team mates had seen us go and were also in place.

Gavin and the other rider rode away. The plan was in motion.

A few km from the bottom of the climb Gavin started to not feel so great. The other rider sensed this and backed off a little. As we started onto the finish climb Gavin was reeled in and it was time for Shou Ciao to set to work.

Shou Ciao has been doing mostly base work (as all of us have) and didn't quite have the snap he needed at the end. He managed 9th overall. Gavin held on for 16th and I rolled across at 21st with our other rider at 23rd, just behind me.

This was only our second race together and the first race I'd done with the new riders. We were also down 2 riders to the flu. I was pretty happy that we executed both our plans and that riders were reading each others' moves and intentions. This bodes well for the season.

We have a 3 day training camp Feb 5~8 with a 20min power test on the 5th. This should be interesting...

The Limit

Recently I thought about the how many times I'd pushed myself beyond the limit of what I could do while on a bike. I've been in other situations in my life where this has happened but cycling is different.

Cycling isn't about survival. It isn't about having to overcome some life threatening or life altering challenge or event. it isn't about life or death choices.

The difference is that it is willful. Pushing yourself beyond what your body is prepared for using only your will is a different thing. At any point I could have just stopped without loss of life or limb yet I chose to keep going despite my body's clear signals that perhaps this wasn't such a good idea.

A few examples:

1988. Some goat path over a mountain in Spain. It's my third day in big mountains. I am WAY over geared and grind my way up this thing for an hour. I sit on a bench by the side of the road at the top and cry. Really.

1989. Some road race in NY State. I make the mistake of jumping into a break with the big boys. I am so nervous I don't eat or drink. An hour later I get head spins and have to sit by the side of the road until the ambulance scoops me up.

1992. Somewhere in Quebec. I flat after about an hour. I get a wheel change and then the neutral car drives away leaving me utterly alone with no food, 1 bottle and 100km of windy rollers. When I crawl across the finish line there is no finish line. They've torn it up, taken down the stage and most everyone is long gone including the jitbags on my new team who were supposed to be doing support for ALL of us. I find my rental car and sleep in the front seat until morning - still in my kit.

1997. A World Cup track event in Trexlertown is canceled. The riders are already on this side of the pond so the event is quickly relocated to Victoria where I lived at the time. After the WC many stick around for BC Superweek.

80 lap crit. All I remember is the silver rear hub of the wheel directly in front of me for the first 40 laps. Once the break goes the pace drops off slightly. My memory of the race starts there.

1998. A RR in Vancouver. Brian Walton leans on me in a tight corner and then jumps on the way out. I think "Well, there's a good wheel to follow." I jump. There's nothing. I slip into the group. I slip out the back of the group. The race rides away from and I can barely hold 20kph.

The next day I go for a blood test. I have a hemoglobin count of 19 with virtually no stored iron. All a result of the last few years of big training trying to be a bike racer.

2004. I black out for a second at 2500m trying to chase down the main bunch so I can hide from the wind. I barely avoid riding into a huge ditch on the side of the mountain. I blackout again while driving on my way home. I almost drive into the median.

2010. I nearly burst a blood vessel in my head after a relentless series of "why", "because" with my 3 year old son.

The worst part is that I know that this list will continue to grow.

O' what a fool am I?

The Long Way Home

Motivation.

It's cold, windy as hell and I'm 2 hours into a ride that could either take 3 1/2 or 4 1/2 hours depending on what I decide at the next intersection. What I need is the 4 1/2 hours. I need it today and I need it tomorrow and I need it each time I ride for the next few months.

It used to be that I could drop to race weight in a month. But now I'm older and the process is slower and the volume needed is much greater. But slogging out this distance seems harder and harder to do.

What I need is some motivation.

It used to be pride. I would put in the extra time because I didn't want to get dropped at a crucial point in a race because I didn't have the depth or because I was lugging around an extra kilo or two. Vanity was also a good one. Who wants to look fat in their kit? Looking tanned, lean and ripply always made me fell kinda sexy. Who doesn't want to feel sexy?

Money. Money is always a good motivator. Producing results to keep sponsors happy could push me to put in the extra time. Happy sponsors means more cash and more stuff. Pretty good motivation.

I guess the real struggle is the difference between how much time I can ride purely for the love of riding and the extra time I really need to be fast. It's the struggle between watching a good movie and throwing a leg over on cold, windy days where the drizzle feels like icicles tearing at your face.

And then there is today. Today was the same ride with the same choices. But today I was in a slightly bigger gear over the climb. Today I chased a truck and caught him on a set of rollers that I'd slogged over a few weeks before. Today I got up out of the saddle and big ringed my way over a 3 km long climb.Today the choice was easy.

Tomorrow is another day.