The Long Way Home

Motivation.

It's cold, windy as hell and I'm 2 hours into a ride that could either take 3 1/2 or 4 1/2 hours depending on what I decide at the next intersection. What I need is the 4 1/2 hours. I need it today and I need it tomorrow and I need it each time I ride for the next few months.

It used to be that I could drop to race weight in a month. But now I'm older and the process is slower and the volume needed is much greater. But slogging out this distance seems harder and harder to do.

What I need is some motivation.

It used to be pride. I would put in the extra time because I didn't want to get dropped at a crucial point in a race because I didn't have the depth or because I was lugging around an extra kilo or two. Vanity was also a good one. Who wants to look fat in their kit? Looking tanned, lean and ripply always made me fell kinda sexy. Who doesn't want to feel sexy?

Money. Money is always a good motivator. Producing results to keep sponsors happy could push me to put in the extra time. Happy sponsors means more cash and more stuff. Pretty good motivation.

I guess the real struggle is the difference between how much time I can ride purely for the love of riding and the extra time I really need to be fast. It's the struggle between watching a good movie and throwing a leg over on cold, windy days where the drizzle feels like icicles tearing at your face.

And then there is today. Today was the same ride with the same choices. But today I was in a slightly bigger gear over the climb. Today I chased a truck and caught him on a set of rollers that I'd slogged over a few weeks before. Today I got up out of the saddle and big ringed my way over a 3 km long climb.Today the choice was easy.

Tomorrow is another day.